Thursday, December 12, 2013

December 11 : have you ever consider to stop trying ?

Yesterday I had  my appointment with Jenny , a Clinical  Psycologist that is treating me  from a month ago, she is worry that even though I keep having this failed pregnancies , I still want to keep trying for another baby. I even ask for the option of medical termination of  the pregnancy coz I wanted to move on fast , get better and then try for another baby ASAP.

 Is the  desire of having a baby becoming the center of my life? could I ever be happy in the case I can't have a baby ?

Jenny made a point about other women with different circumstances , other women that couldn't have  babies  for  whatever reason, and she ask me if I ever  though about this possibility . ( but I am not another women, I can't stop trying, I don't want to ...)

I brooke on tears, I know is "loco" is  crazy , but I don't wanna stop trying .  I feel that I am so close , and If I give up now,  I would  live probably wondering about that little  baby.




Monday, December 9, 2013

Monday 9 december : Researching: New Study Finds Effective Clinical Treatment For Unexplained Recurrent Miscarriages

I found this article , I though it was interesting , may be my next step . I went to their website and  is extremely  expensive .. :-( 




New Study Finds Effective Clinical Treatment For Unexplained Recurrent Miscarriagesl



DENVEROct. 23, 2012 /PRNewswire/ -- A recent study by the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM) has found that a new technique that examines all 23 pairs of chromosomes in a human blastocyst (day five embryo), known as comprehensive chromosome screening (CCS), is an effective clinical treatment for unexplained recurrent miscarriages.
Miscarriage is a relatively common occurrence affecting roughly one in five pregnancies. However, only one to two percent of reproductive-aged women will have three or more consecutive, spontaneous miscarriages. The cause of recurrent miscarriage is complex in nature and can vary from autoimmune disorders to uterine abnormalities. For 50 percent of couples, recurrent miscarriages have no identifiable cause.
"Recurrent miscarriage is one of the most devastating experiences a couple can face," says William Schoolcraft, M.D., medical director of CCRM. "Our latest study offers hope to couples who previously had no where to turn. Comprehensive chromosome screening appears to greatly increase the odds of having a live birth."
It is well known that aneupliod embryos (chromosomally abnormal) will typically result in spontaneous miscarriage. CCRM clinicians recently conducted a study employing CCS and cryopreservation techniques, which allows them to select and transfer only blastocysts that have 23 pairs of chromosomes in a frozen embryo transfer. Study details and findings include:
  • 42 women (36.7 mean age) with recurrent miscarriage (at least three proven miscarriages where fetal heartbeat was shown) had in vitro fertilization (IVF) with CCS.
  • Nine patients had all aneuploid embryos; therefore, transfers could not be performed.
  • Out of 33 patients who had at least one euploid (chromosomally normal) embryo transferred, 87.9 percent had clinical pregnancy; only one pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage.
  • All the pregnancies have either resulted in a healthy delivery or are past mid-gestation and the potential live birth rate is 84.8 percent.
"Our two beautiful boys would not exist without the CCS technology at CCRM," says CCRM patient Kristin Scott Pardini. "After three devastating miscarriages we tried IVF with CCS. We had two egg retrievals resulting in a total of 41 eggs. Only one egg produced an embryo that had the necessary 23 chromosome pairs. That one embryo became our first son, Roman, who is now three."
Mandy Katz-Jaffe, PhD, director of research for CCRM added, "Until now, there was thought to be no effective clinical treatment for unexplained recurrent miscarriage, but now we have evidence that CCS can improve the ability to have a successful pregnancy. This is an exciting discovery that will open doors for many couples wanting to have children."
About the Colorado Center for Reproductive MedicineFounded in 1987 by Dr. William Schoolcraft, the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine is one of the nation's leading infertility treatment centers, providing a wide spectrum of infertility treatments ranging from basic infertility care to advanced in vitro fertilization (IVF) technology. Today, joined by Drs. Eric SurreyDebra MinjarezRobert Gustofson and Jennifer Brown, Dr. Schoolcraft and his staff achieve some of the highest pregnancy rates in the country. CCRM has been ranked "The #1 Fertility Center in the U.S., with the Greatest Chance of Success" by Child.com. For more information, visit www.ColoCRM.com.
SOURCE Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine


RELATED LINKS
http://www.colocrm.com

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Fiday, 6th december: Medical Termination of the pregnancy

Right  now is  Saturday 5:30 am  and I cant sleep anymore, I feel  alright  and I feel like everything is over  now .... my body is aching I feel tired , but relief.

Life is  weird as 8 years ago on  the 6th of December my father was killed in Colombia, and  the same day  8 years later , I am  having an induced miscarriage for my baby number 5  :-(
(I close  my eyes,  I breath deep  and I hope for a happy tomorrow )

2 days ago on Thursday :  I went to the Gp, and  we receive the HGC levels result,  from 7000  to abut 5645 , so my lose was confirm as I already knew from Monday, the Lady doctor es very comprehensive and she  gave me the  letter to present to the ER department at the Townsville Hospital. she said  the ER is the fastest way for me to be able to organize what it would happen next.

Friday Morning :

 : I wait until 9 am to go to the ER, before 9am is unlikely you been seen by a Gyno,  I arrive to the Emergency dep. at the hospital, they took my details and about  one hour later they took my blood sample to see my  Hcg levels, what usually happens is that I would see a General Doctor, tell my story , and  wait for them to contact the  Gyno/obstetrician, Usually we would  arrange for a date for my D&C  to be done and then I would just go back home .
What it really  happened yesterday :  I had a chat with the  general doctor  and about 1 hour later  I talk to  Michael, a Gyno from Bowen that works in Townsville  sometimes, he was very cooperative and helpful .

I express my wish of NOT wanting to have a 5th D&C,  as my 4th one was a nightmare, the little gestational sac was only about 1 centimeter, but after the procedure , I bleed a lot , I was on pain  for months, my periods were a mess ( very light brown period with  clots during 6 months ) & I  couldn't have intercourse, in my personal experience, after the D&C I usually would wait 1 year to try again, the first 2 miscarriages I waited 2 years 
( I felt in the trap of  "miscarriages are normal", "you will be alright next time", "is unlikely that you  have another miscarriage" "because of your age and your history, you are still within the normal range " " we don't investigate before 3 or more miscarriages" " don't worry is nothing  you could do anyway"... The truth is that If I would knew that I would have future miscarriages  I would never ever  let the time pass me by)

At the hospital ,  I explained  about my history  of  previous  missed miscarriages, I also showed my interest  "medical termination"  of the pregnancy, I learned  about this term when researching about  D&C alternatives. I first found about the procedure  in a website called Dr Marie, a private institution that helps women who wish not having a baby, when I call Dr Marie, I was actually very impressed about the quality of the service and the support, extremely professional , the lady even advise me , that  as it is my body  it is my right to decide I didn't wanted the D&C done  and that I should express this to the doctors at the hospital .

 I  made a booking in this  institution in the case the hospital wouldn't support me.
The difference  would be  that my husband would be  be around  $700 out of his pocket if I would  decide to go private  plus the future IVF expenses, medical tests,  specialist appointments , and me not working ...
 OMG  I really didn't know what to do :-(   I was very stressed out..

I  even open a page in  gofundme as I was  trying to find people to help me so I could see an specialist doctor who help me to save my baby .  (my gofundme  page).... this is before I knew I lost the baby .. I will use this fund for a treatment  and  IVF  (I think Ivf  could be my best choice as they the cycles are very controlled  and we could probably pick a good embryo  to transfer in to me  ...  but this will be later on .. please keep reading my blog as I will update my whole experience)


In simple terms, Medical termination just means that  they would make  you use some drugs to help your body to  have a natural miscarriage, I found more info about the Medical Termination  with Mifepristone and Misoprostol  in the websites of the Royal hospital in Victoria and the NSW hospital  this  information was very useful for me, as it actually demonstrate that some hospitals use this type of procedures within Australia and it means that I could ask this type of termination at the hospital as an alternative of D&C.

 I did ask in the past but I was informed is not a  common practice  in Australia .

Michael the Gyno on shift , inform me that  this drugs are effective only in 50 % of the cases, and he also told me is not something the hospital would offer to a patient. 
 After I showed him that other hospitals in Australia use it, he called  the hospital in NSW  to confirm  and then he  escalate my case and ask   "Vianca" the  manager at the  Gyno clinic, she agreed as long as  I stay in the hospital for the day for they could monitor me. Once  again he inform me I had 3 choises , D&C , Medical termination or just go  home to sit and wait for  weeks to see what happen. I chose #2.  He also advise me that in the case  I got "retained  product " after the pills , they would then consider a d&c  to  reduce the risk of  infection.

Michael was very understanding of my wish of move on and start trying again ASAP, with the help of a professional team.  It was also very clear for him that I must be  very distressed as a consequence of my previous miscarriages and  he actually admire that I was very on charge of my situation  as well as the fact I have been studying  and researching about my  recurrent miscarriage problem and about the D&C alternatives . 
(the truth is that last time I was at the ER due my previous miscarriage the doctor on shift ask me if I was a Doctor too   :-P )

Michael,  book  me in  straight away, I would  be  in the" short stay unit" for  about 6 hours and if I felt alright I could just go home. the magic word in this case is  "one Pad every 2 hours ",  If I  filled one pad an hour, or if I was in unbearable pain,   I would have to come back to the hospital.

So I stay in the hospital , then Brad came to spend with me the afternoon . This was the best of the world as I was quite scared, so his support  was extremely welcome.

4 pm Friday  6th december: I was administer the Misoprostol   for Vaginal use  4 pills , then we  just had to wait to see what would happen. I think the people in the hospital were not really sure of what would happen next , either .

  I felt actually very sleepy  during the first two hours, then I started to feel  little bit of back pain and  pain in my right side, then I started to  have bleeding, but nothing special ,   they told me I should stay the night , but  as the pain was no major I told them I would prefer to go home. They gave me some painkillers  just before we left and prescription for a very strong painkiller if I need it .

7:20 pm :  just when I was out of the hospital , the pain started to be very very strong :-S, the painkiller they gave me  didn't do anything ,  I still had to go to the pharmacy for the strong painkiller that the Gyno  prescribe me  in the case nothing worked,  and then drove home, I took the strong painkiller as I was desperate  (Endone - Oxycodone hydrochloride). Then I felt  some nausea ..... I was quite scared.

7:30 pm- 9:45 pm: really really bad cramps and the strong painkiller did nothing.  The pain still really  really strong, like hard contractions, but as I passed some clots  my pain ease for couple of seconds, enough to gain some strength. 
 I  took my clothes off, my hematite necklace feels like extremely uncomfortable . I just took everything off and then I move to the shower, ... 
Is summer already, the temperature was something like 32 C .
Very hot but I found relief in the shower, the hot water made me feel better, so I stayed there  letting the water fallen in to my back , I was in a squatting position, then in my knees, then squatting again , It was like my instinct telling me which position would help to ease the pain for a couple of seconds.
  I tried to come back to the room and the bed, but  there was absolutely not position  I would feel less in pain  so I came back to the bathroom , I had  may be another  15 minutes excruciating pain and cramps, I just had to try to relax my cervix as I knew that   something was trying to come out ,  as the clot was  coming down the pain was also coming down on your body  , then I felt it.

As  I as it pass that last clot my pain suddenly dissapear and I feel alright again, my body still resented  but  no more  extreme pain, everything finished  by  9.50 pm , all I wanted to do now  is eat something , I suddenly felt extremely hungry  and my pain was gone .
(I was always wondering how could you know if everything  came out , but  well, you definitively  know it, your  pain stopped, and  you just feel it ( well I was wrong  again  as later on that morning  I felt something else coming out ) )

10 pm went to look for food , then to sleep . I woke up at 5.30 am I body feels alright. I am still bleeding as If I have strong period but no more than 1 pad every two hours .
My husband is sleeping right now, I think he is exhausted, he actually was very strong,  I think it was very hard and stressful for him to see me in such a pain,  yesterday night  his face had no emotions  at all , but I could see in his eyes he was actually very disturbed on see me like this.

As everything finished , he said he needs to rest and felt sleep within 2 minutes, this was actually  little bit funny, as after my labor job I gained all my energy back,  and I was ready to go out to eat something ..
...it was quite funny, but I really thank him for being there and for bring me home . I could not think  something worse that  stay in  the hospital by myself, I actually felt really good of being in my own space .

Thank you Brad, my husband for your  unconditional love and support during all this time , and specially yesterday,  it was a really important moment, and I wouldn't be able to do it good without you, I love you heaps and  heaps ...

Thank you Bob , my father in law for being patience with me and for helping me and taking me the hospital  and then pick us up .

Thank you, Michael - Doctor on shift  from Bowen , for your comprehension and your desire of helping me and for being open to  approach new  alternatives on the manage of  my case.

Thank you, Vianca - Manager of the clinic for your collaboration and for accept the procedure  to be done on me and for allowed  the hospital to  support me in the manage of my missed miscarriage , thank you also for allowed the procedure be done the same day .

Thank you, Heather and Pit  - nurses at the  short stay unit  for their help and the  painkillers  :-)

Thank you , Townsville Hospital and the Women and Children Clinic  and Dr Jay for  your support  during this time , before I couldn't see it clearly , but I know that you guys were trying to really help me during this years of investigations,  I understand  is just not more you guys can do for me . and I should go an specialist clinic .

Thank you, Reader, for visiting my page and allowed me to share my story with you , as writing  is become  therapy and a motivation for me   :-)

UPDATE : At about 10 in the morning  on Saturday  I started to have more  pain,  I went for a wee wee , and then I felt something came out of me, it felt like a  little plug , when I look  down  there it was with an egg like shape   and in a lighter color  , It was probably the gestational sac , and it look like it had a little hole .... after that event , my bleeding kind of stop .

I'm hopping everything is now finished and  I don't need a further D&C .

I went to the markets , did a couple of other things and by 1 pm I was very very tired , I slept in for couple of hours and  then I got ready to  start taking pictures for my  little ebay shop... I started this little shop 2 months ago, almost when I got pregnant 

I apologize  if I have been to graphic  in telling my story but  I only wanted to  give you an idea of how is to use medical termination of the pregnancy due to  missed miscarriage when the gestational sac measures is about 6 weeks 2 days.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

4th December : Doctor Confirming 5th Missed Miscarriage " DEJA VU"

Today I went to my  appointment with the Gp,  we read the results  from the Ultrasound from Monday,  and as we were  suspecting ,  the ultrasound  shows no signal of the embryo , and  little area with hemorrhage, the Gp send me more  HCG  levels to see what  they are doing , but is more than  sure that I am having my missed miscarriage number 5, since last week I was already feeling the lower back pain ,  and I felt something was  quite not right when  suddenly I felt my breast less swollen,  last week  I also felt my belly not as  hard as past weeks.

Last week  I cryed a lot after the Ultrasound, I cryed as if somehow my body  or  my instinct knew that I was loosing this baby too,  it  was very strange.



Little bit about  the past : 

 I remember  baby #1 stop growing at 10 weeks  he saw his  heartbeat  in the ultrasound, the following week I felt very sad and sentimental  and I cried and I cried  I cried as if  I knew  back then that I was loosing him,  the same week  I had  tonsillitis  and swollen glands , and  little bit of fever, just for couple of days , I also had  a really bad coughing, something like  I couldn't breath properly , and specially at nights  .

I actually believe that somehow  this symptoms are  related to an immunology factor , I might be wrong , but  in all my pregnancies I did had  this symptoms at one point .
After my fist pregnancy , I also  notice that for the other pregnancies I was absolutely swollen as If i was 6 months pregnant  when I was only about 4 weeks in to the pregnancies .
This last pregnancy I was not swollen thanks to the prednisone and the clexane.

I have a little bit of information I copy from a blog, in which she talks about the  prednisone and  clexane  protocol that she use  when she was pregnant, the actual page  has been move from the internet but  still has the source , I have copy this page in to my site but I added the source of the letter:
http://unexplainedrecurrentmiscarriages.blogspot.com.au/2013/12/the-prednisone-protocol-bondi-protocol.html

To keep with my story .... For that time we move to the beautiful Adelaide in South Australia, and I went for my first check in the hospital ,  I was having  spotting from  very early  in my pregnancy, I was  very scared,   but the GP and the nurses kept telling me that "brown spotting was normal"and because of my age I belong to a normal pregnancy  group,  everything is fine they said ,  later on from week 12  I developed  lower back pain  and I started to  loose the pregnancy symptoms, I didn't felt as a mom anymore, I was not even able to think of a name, I started to feel very normal again. last week I felt like  "deja vu"  I felt like I was living something I already live .

I though somethings in the medical service were very funny  and even scary ,  at 14 weeks  the  midwife told me about about some blood tests that can be done at 13 weeks ,she mention  that  this tests were "optional" for normal pregnancies  and I didn't had to do it if I choose not  too, this is the screening test for Down Syndrome,  I think.

In Colombia , this test are mandatory, you don't have a choice , you basically  have to do it . So once more I decide I would  do this test  even if I belong to the "normal pregnancy  category ".
once the tests came back, they gave me a call, and she said  something went wrong with the test, you have to come, and we have schedule an "Amniocenteses" to see what is wrong with your baby.

The next day  just before the procedure start they did an ultrasound , this ultrasound show that the baby stop developed at 10 weeks , and I was going to need a D&C.
they book me in 2 weeks later, during those 2 weeks I was really really upset and traumatized I wanted the procedure done faster, I wanted to finish with this pain as soon as possible,  I couldn't stand the idea of having the baby in my belly for 8 weeks after he stop growing, this was my first pregnancy, and I felt really really guilty , guilty that  I didn't  demand a lot more from the doctors ,  I felt everything was my fault  and I was responsible for this little baby  and I couldn't take  care of  him.
It was horrible !! My life change a lot  when I loose that  first baby, I was in a completely diferent country, far away from my family, with no many friends around, I had my husband with me but I guess I was needing more support  I loose my smile & my happiness , I was totally dark ,  suddenly, I couldn't see any good in anything,  I was very depressed for more than a year , after that first missed miscarriage, I guess the impact of the  missed miscarriage is very strong as it leaves you  very confusing .

I visit  a great psychologist in Adelaide  his name is Alexander Ryan , He was awesome, he really help me a lot, thanks him, I think I started to work on healing and trying to overcome depression, I recently contact him  and he called me back straight away, and he told me  how he is gonna forget this Colombiana that never came back to see him  for more sessions  :-P he was actually funny, I think one day , I was the one with the questions, I certainly felt as I was doing therapy for him ;-P    anyway , he is now base  outside Adelaide ,  and now his website  is called  "The Love Doctors "!! really  worth trying  if you have a depression or a relationship problem .

 Last week on Sunday markets, before I knew about my  miscarriage,  I bought an  Hematite  necklace it was quite expensive , but I though it worth it  as I was stressed out  and  years ago
DR Ryan  gave me as present  a hematite necklace, he actually gives this to all his clients, he believes hematite stones bring you good energy and lower your  stress level, and also, bring you hope, he said  that we need hope , and we need  to believe in something, no matter what is it,  we need " to believe" to be able to overcome  depression.

The Prednisone protocol , the Bondi Protocol

I actually found this  comment in  the website underneath,  I found it very interesting  as I found her symptoms in previous pregnancies  very similar to my own symptoms , I also  had the same treatment  for pregnancy which I reckon It worked but it was something  else missing , I also found the  lack of support of the doctors  en Australia  for actually try a new treatment on me , so it was actually very difficult to get access to  heparin for example  or even the progesterone pessaries .

I think they are updating the  website if you want  you might be able to  email them for more info if you require .

http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/mc.htm
Dear Momma Kath,
It has been a year since I first emailed you inquiring about an online subscriber to your website who had used prednisone to have a baby. I had emailed you asking for her contact information, but you had no luck in tracking her down. Well, I wanted you to know that I did some research of my own and contacted doctors in Europe who are using prednisone ("prednisolone" in Europe) to treat women with "unexplained recurrent miscarriages" with great success. What they are finding is that women with recurrent miscarriages have higher levels of natural killer cells in their uterine lining, which causes an immune system reaction when a pregnancy tries to implant in the uterine wall. With all my miscarriages, immediately following implantation, my belly would blow up like a balloon causing me to look like I was 12 weeks pregnant, when I was only 4 weeks into the pregnancy.
What they are finding is that for some women, the body attacks the pregnancy as a "foreign invader" causing an immune system response with inflammation at the site of implantation, leading to fetal demise.
Anyhow, to make a long story short...I just gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Dec. 23 after 5 miscarriages in a row. I followed the protocol of a Dr. Siobhan Quenby in London.
You take 20mg of prednisone upon a positive pregnancy test up until week 10, then 10 mg until week 11, then reduce it to 5 mg until week 12. You just take it for the first 12 weeks, in order to allow for a strong placenta to grow, and prevent your body from rejecting the pregnancy. My doctor also had me take Endometrium vaginal inserts 3 x/day starting 4 days after I ovulated up until I was 16 weeks pregnant (he said I only needed to take it for 12 weeks, but I wanted to be extra safe). He also put me on HCG shots every 3 days starting from a positive pregnancy test up until 12 weeks, also as an extra safety measure to support the corpus luteum.
All I can say is that within a 1/2 hour of me taking my first prednisone dose, my belly deflated like a balloon, and the inflammation that caused my uterus to swell in the previous pregnancies was no longer.
Prior to my doctor agreeing to follow Dr. Quenby's prednisone protocol, my doctor told me to try Lovenox injections. I found this drug to be very "evil"! Painful black and blues on my stomach, bleeding from the injection site that didn't stop, so I had to stop it.
Throughout this journey, I have found two disappointing realities...in this country there is a push for IVF as a band aid for all pregnancy problems...I found SO many doctors that immediately pushed for IVF..ironically the most expensive treatment...as a first line of treatment. I found that many reproductive endocrinologists and fertility doctors were money hungry and preyed on women who were desperate to have a baby...telling them that their eggs were bad and that the ONLY way to have a baby is through IVF.
I also was disappointed to find that the other alternative to treating women with "unexplained" recurrent miscarriages that is being used in this country was the horrible Lovenox drug. I had already seen a leading Hematologist and he said I had no blood disorders whatsoever, so I found it disconcerting to have to take blood thinner to try and treat my "unexplained miscarriages", when I could take a $5/month drug, once a day in the morning with no side effects whatsoever that would actually treat my overactive immune system, which was the problem.
I wanted to send you this information, so that it may help other women like me. Please pass this along. Tell your subscribers to type in "prednisolone" and "Dr. Quenby" into their search criteria on the Internet, print out her study, and bring it to their doctors. I know that if I couldn't find a doctor in this country who would try this prednisone protocol, my husband and I were ready to take a trip to England so that we could get the treatment that we needed. Persistence is key.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I got pregnant, Doctor I need the Heparin please !!!

I visited an specialist  Colombia last year, he reckon the Proteine S disorder could be the cause for me to keep loosing the babies, as  your body is more prone to form really small clots, some of them extremely small in your womb, preventing the embryo to be well nourished and  die.
The specialist in Colombia  Dr Becerra Mojica, is absolutely sure that if you have this type of dissorder you should start a low molecular heparine (Clexane ) treatment as early as 3 days of conception.

When I arrived to Australia I went for my regular checks to the  hospital where they have been investigating my case with no success  and I  had a chat with the specialist at the Townsville hospital , after a little argue we agreed  that once I realized I was pregnant  they would send me  the prescription for the clexane .  The problem was that when I realised that I was pregnantI tried to contact the doctor at the hospital with no success , I was extremely stressed out , as Iwanted to start the progesterone and the heparin as soon as possible.

 After calling  to the hospital  a hundred times I finally got in touch with a nurse who promise talk to my doctor , but he told her to let me know, the clexane was  not that important for me , and he recommended to  keep taking the folic acid  . The nurse  also agree to book me an appointment for the next week, she recomend to take the blood results and  if possible an ultrasound.

 I went to my appointment ,   I couldn't see the doctor , instead I saw another  doctor  and I spend  the whole 30 minutes  telling her my story . I ask her for the  heparin , and she said they need the ultrasound that confirm the pregnancy first .

Next day I went for my ultrasound , and I supposed to see the doctors at the hospital next week ,  fo this appointment I had  my ultrasound that confirm my pregnancy and my progesterone results  and  my HCG  levels results that confirm my levels are going up .

One week later , I went for my  doctors appointment,  doctor saw the  ultrasound results and he said  is too early , I need to see a heartbeat before sending you any clexane .  OMG , I was so stressed out,  now I was needing to  come back for another ultrasound and  another medical appointment  in 1 week.

My previous 3 pregnacies ending before  finding any heartbeat,   the last 2 were blighted ovums , and the one previous that  stop developing at 8 weeks  and  no heartbeat found, so to find a heartbeat this  time  was gonna be not an easy task .

The day of my ultrasound  I was  in panic , I was so scared ,   I was only needing a heartbeat, to be able to get the clexane , I pray so much ,  I really wanted to give  an opportunity to this baby .



 They did they normal ultrasound and then a vaginal as the first one didn't show up anything .
The vaginal ultrasound  show the little sac   with a little  embryo inside  :-)  OMG I was  happy , I was  so happy , and in top of that  she ask  if I  could  see the heartbeat , OMG !!!!! there was a little heartbeat  ....  so tiny, and  beautiful , was incredible  :-) AMAZING !!

She said : is a little bit slow 47bpm  ,  but is definitively there  :-)

The most beautiful day in my entire life  :-) 

Next week I came back to doctor , and doctor prescribe  the clexane!!!!!!  :-)



Update:

Is monday december the 9 , I finish loosing this baby too, but I gained hope after seen the babie's heartbeat twice, 

I did stoped the heparine on thursday, and yesterday I was making some photos for my ebay store: I am selling a some things with the hope I can visit an Ivf clinic for a future treatment .. 


Well my  belly look like this after the clexane... It looks worse than it actually felt.. I also gained a lot of weight around my belly area, My face & my back as a consequence of the prednisone...
But this is just the small price for giving my baby a chance :-) 











Decmber 4: Low Progesterone Leves in Early Pregnancy as a Prediction of Miscarriage ? I sais Yes , Doctor said NO

The progesterone levels are crusial for the  survival of the little embryo , it keeps the uterus from contracting and promotes the development of blood vessels that  will nurish the little embryo , until the placenta takes place at 12 weeks .

My progesterone levels 3 weeks ago were  about 7.3 nmol/l  quite low for a pregnant women (normal ranges start at 39nmol/l). The annoying part is that  to check the progesterone levels is not  part of the  initial regular  blood test done  once you found out that you are pregnancy .

I literally had to lie to the Gp and I had to tell him that the specialist in the hospital wanted to see this test and the early ultrasound  for my appointment .


of course when I saw my levels were so low I was freaking out .  The only reason that I didn't start with the progesterone presaries I had, was  first  because I was not sure when I got pregnant and because I have Protein S deficiency.

In my case  this Proteine S deficiency is acquired,  slightly  under the normal levels (normal levels start at 59 , I was  47  at that time )

To make it little bit  shorter, the protein S deficiency  means that you body tend to produce more  clots  specially in the legs and in the head. (what it has   sense as  I worked in hospitality  and spend long hours stand up  and  I did  always complaint  of  really swollen and painful legs )

When you take  progesterone supplementation,  your risk of  producing clots is greater.

(In my last pregnancy I  used progesterone supplementation  and I would said that  my body was not working  well, my legs were really swollen and I just didn't feel good at all, I had  terrible migraines, and felt couldn't breath properly. During this pregnancy , I could feel the difference as soon as I started the Clexane+ progesterone 200g pessaries ,  I felt completely normal :)

 When istarted the progesterone  my levels were  7.3 nmol/L  this was  about 3 weeks ago .
My last test results  indicating my progesterone levels  were about  15.5nmol/L so in  2 weeks my levels  basically  doubled. I used use only one 200 g  pessarie a day.

In Australia  the Progesterone levels test is not an important test, neither the supplementation . The specialist at the Women and Children clinic said there is not enough evidence that suggest that  the levels of progesterone are link with early miscarriage.














Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Just one month ago

IMG_5105



This is me,  in this picture I am supposed to be  4 weeks pregnant , clothes is getting tighter  :-) I  was loving it  :-(

In this picture I was actually using one of the items I sold in my little ebay shop , I started an ebay shop a couple of months ago . Actually this little shop is the only thing that keep me sane this days .

Waiting for better days to come

December 3 2013 : Vanished embryo ? or retained miscarriage ?

I have been sitting in my room trying to find answers ,  If you have ever live a miscarriage , you have an Idea of how it feels  like .
  • What happen with my little baby ?  how is possible for an embryo to vanish/ to disappear and become  a blighted ovum within a week ?
  • What will happen next ? am I going to allow the doctors to preform  a 5th  D&C ?  would it be possible to have a “medical abortion” instead ?
  • On monday I have contacted Dr Professor  Gavin Sacks in Sydney  with the hope he could help me to save this pregnancy .But the pregnancy is lost already . Should I still going and see him  as  it will be very expensive  and possible nothing we can do right now .
I haven  sitting around  just thinking in all the things that happen last week after monday I was in my ultrasound appointment .
I was very very upset , I think I cry a lot  that day and that night .
Next day I was little bit more upset ,and  at night and when Brad touched me he  told me I had little bit of  high temperature , so he put  some cold  compress on my body to lower my temperature , the whole week I had  night sweats and  one of the  days I complaining  of sore throat  , I also went to the doctor  because I was having Cystitis , so he send me a course of antibiotics .
on thursday I went to a doctors appointment and I ask for blood tests to see my progesterone levels and my hcg leves .
On friday , I went to visit my friend Mia  who is  pregnant ,   we  had  some homemade smoothies  and a muffin :-)  it was actually a good day .  When I came back home  I went to  Pee and then I notice  a  thick red line in my undies . I called Brad , He said , Is better this way ,  you are having a natural miscarriage , just let it  happen .  :-(  we  hug ,  I cry .. ..  I was prepared for having a natural miscarrige , I went to sleep , and next day  , there was nothing in my  undies , so I assume It was probably  little bit of spotting , I blame  the fact I the day before I took my drugs  little bit late  ( I’m talking about the prednisone  and the aspirine )  That saturday , I actually felt  very good , I felt  little bit pregnant again , and my boobs were sore again  ( my boobs stopped  being sore about a week  before  but as I am taking prednisolone and  clexane  I though may be  my pregnancy  symptoms were hidden  because of the drug ,  on saturday I started some vitamin B6 and B12   , and I just felt my energy  was back .
Sunday , I got my  Hcg  levels and Progesterone levels  results , I was not totally happy , but I actually felt more relax  my progesterone levels went up  , not  too much , but double from  7.7  to 15.55 nmol/l   in   about 3 weeks , still  very low  considering  the healthy progesterone levels  during pregnancy start at 39 nmol/L ,  my HCG levels  Increase , but   not double or even triple in this 3 weeks , but they increase and I  was still within normal levels . My Hcg  Actually  shows  little bit of my past pregnancy in 2012  in which  my levels didnt past the 1400′s  range .
I really though this pregnancy  was gonna be the one .  Actually I always kept the ilussion  that every pregnancy was gonna be the one .

progesterone hcg levels

Ultrasound number 4 : Little Embryo , Where are you ????

Last week on Monday I had my ultrasound number 3 , and I was devastated with the results , embryo suppose to be 7 or 8  weeks , but is almost invisible in the ultrasound  , the radiology Technician and I we only could see a little point  hidden in a corner  with a clear  heartbeat of 59 bpm , she say  the embryo looks like  5 weeks and 4 days .
4 weeks ago  I had an ultrasound and it shows a  6 week  2 days baby with signs of  bradycardia  ( only 47 bpm  )
Today Monday 2 of december  Scan number 4 :  I got the  worse radiologist technician I ever had , very arrogant and stink  cigarette oddor. It was disgusting  but I had to do it , I was needing some answers  or some relief  after last  week .
So first  I ask if it was possible to have a female  conducting the ultrasound ,( but there was none) , as I have a retroverted uterus that in many cases don’t let see anything  in the scans so we always finish doing  vaginal scans  .
The initial ultrasound of my womb  shows  the sac , but he actually though I was too early . When I explained  that I already had 3 previous scans,  he look at me  as If I am crazy , when I try to explain that we saw the heartbeat  and the little embryo 3 weeks ago .
He say something  like ” is very clear  there is nothing here ”  so I beg him to please  perform a vaginal  scan  as I would prefer it .
although  the technician was very uncooperative, he was very unkind and  even unprofessional , he still perform the Vaginal Scan ,  I guess because my hubby was there trying to support me , and gave him  the look .
Although the radiologist  didn’t mention  anything during or after the scan , Brad and I we could  see it , It looks like a  blighted ovum , I know blighted ovums , from my last  2 pregnancies , the difference  today it was that I am  sure that 1 week ago  there was still  a little embryo  with his heartbeat  and fetal pole there  and  3 weeks before that scan , I  could perfectly see  the little embryo with his heartbeat .
so what happen today ?
where is my little baby ??
I am totally  devastated ,  I can not think , I can not  function . I was thinking something was wrong , but  today  is totally  worse ,  my little  embryo has vanished from  the sac ……    what a day  :-(

Unexplained Recurrent Miscarriages : Baby number 5

Hello Everybody,
My name is  Johanna  and everybody calls me YoYo.  I am a spanish speaking  girl  living in Australia 7 years ago , so please I apologise in advance If my  English  is not the best .
Today is my  first post  ever.
My purpose with this blog is telling you my story, and may be help you  to find  the answers you need  to overcome  your current situation or just to let you know that  you are not the only one , I was there too  and many other women  were  and are there too . This blog  is my way of looking  for  healing for myself , healing through  expressing what for years I have been never been able to  properly talk with anyone.
This is my way to reach that like me  have a history of  ”unexplained recurrent/repetitive  miscarriages”.
I am 33 years old ,  and I have been pregnant 5  times .
As a matter of fact  I am currently pregnant  I supposed to be 8 weeks  or more  but my last ultrasound  1 week ago  shows  5 week 4 days  embryo ,  heartbeat:  59 Bpm,  they found  fetal pole too .
About 3 weeks  ago , the embryo  seems to be  6 weeks 2 days,   they found  heartbeat:  47 Bpm  consistent with a bradycardia  (very low heart beat) The radiologist  advised nothing to worry about as it might be that babies heart Just start  Beating  .
Even though  I am freaking out , a  heartbeat , was the last request from the doctor at  the hospital  , before  he would authorise to give me  the  prescription for Clexane .  Clexane  is one of the drugs I am currently using to prevent   my body of producing  clots.  Was very difficult  to convince  my doctor  at the hospital in Australia l to  prescribe it.

The doctors at the Townsville hospital  consider that Protein S deficiency   was not low enough as to  prescribe  the Clexane . ( my results were 47 , normal ranges start at 59 )   I am also  a low positive for the Anticardiolipin antibodies, for which they send me to take  baby aspirin  and folic acid .
So today  Monday 2 of December of 2014 ,  at 4 pm  I got  to visit the “North  Xray ” for another ultrasound .  Is currently  8.46 am , I have  a Psychologist appointment  ( thanks for the mental health  government fund for this )  and then  I have to wait to   see the results in this ultrasound .
I had  1 ultrasound last week  at the hospital that shows basically nothing   but the heartbeat , and one previous that one 3 weeks ago that shows  the most beautiful thing I  ever saw in my life :-)    That day I couldn’t  believe what my eyes were looking :-)   I had 5 previous pregnancies , the 2 last ones , blighted ovum . But  in this one , a little embryo  develop :-)  was  amazing , tears were falling from my eyes  .
Little Chicken  6 w  2 d

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