December 11 : have you ever consider to stop trying ?

Yesterday I had  my appointment with Jenny , a Clinical  Psycologist that is treating me  from a month ago, she is worry that even though I keep having this failed pregnancies , I still want to keep trying for another baby. I even ask for the option of medical termination of  the pregnancy coz I wanted to move on fast , get better and then try for another baby ASAP.

 Is the  desire of having a baby becoming the center of my life? could I ever be happy in the case I can't have a baby ?

Jenny made a point about other women with different circumstances , other women that couldn't have  babies  for  whatever reason, and she ask me if I ever  though about this possibility . ( but I am not another women, I can't stop trying, I don't want to ...)

I brooke on tears, I know is "loco" is  crazy , but I don't wanna stop trying .  I feel that I am so close , and If I give up now,  I would  live probably wondering about that little  baby.