Fiday, 6th december: Medical Termination of the pregnancy

Right  now is  Saturday 5:30 am  and I cant sleep anymore, I feel  alright  and I feel like everything is over  now .... my body is aching I feel tired , but relief.

Life is  weird as 8 years ago on  the 6th of December my father was killed in Colombia, and  the same day  8 years later , I am  having an induced miscarriage for my baby number 5  :-(
(I close  my eyes,  I breath deep  and I hope for a happy tomorrow )

2 days ago on Thursday :  I went to the Gp, and  we receive the HGC levels result,  from 7000  to abut 5645 , so my lose was confirm as I already knew from Monday, the Lady doctor es very comprehensive and she  gave me the  letter to present to the ER department at the Townsville Hospital. she said  the ER is the fastest way for me to be able to organize what it would happen next.

Friday Morning :

 : I wait until 9 am to go to the ER, before 9am is unlikely you been seen by a Gyno,  I arrive to the Emergency dep. at the hospital, they took my details and about  one hour later they took my blood sample to see my  Hcg levels, what usually happens is that I would see a General Doctor, tell my story , and  wait for them to contact the  Gyno/obstetrician, Usually we would  arrange for a date for my D&C  to be done and then I would just go back home .
What it really  happened yesterday :  I had a chat with the  general doctor  and about 1 hour later  I talk to  Michael, a Gyno from Bowen that works in Townsville  sometimes, he was very cooperative and helpful .

I express my wish of NOT wanting to have a 5th D&C,  as my 4th one was a nightmare, the little gestational sac was only about 1 centimeter, but after the procedure , I bleed a lot , I was on pain  for months, my periods were a mess ( very light brown period with  clots during 6 months ) & I  couldn't have intercourse, in my personal experience, after the D&C I usually would wait 1 year to try again, the first 2 miscarriages I waited 2 years 
( I felt in the trap of  "miscarriages are normal", "you will be alright next time", "is unlikely that you  have another miscarriage" "because of your age and your history, you are still within the normal range " " we don't investigate before 3 or more miscarriages" " don't worry is nothing  you could do anyway"... The truth is that If I would knew that I would have future miscarriages  I would never ever  let the time pass me by)

At the hospital ,  I explained  about my history  of  previous  missed miscarriages, I also showed my interest  "medical termination"  of the pregnancy, I learned  about this term when researching about  D&C alternatives. I first found about the procedure  in a website called Dr Marie, a private institution that helps women who wish not having a baby, when I call Dr Marie, I was actually very impressed about the quality of the service and the support, extremely professional , the lady even advise me , that  as it is my body  it is my right to decide I didn't wanted the D&C done  and that I should express this to the doctors at the hospital .

 I  made a booking in this  institution in the case the hospital wouldn't support me.
The difference  would be  that my husband would be  be around  $700 out of his pocket if I would  decide to go private  plus the future IVF expenses, medical tests,  specialist appointments , and me not working ...
 OMG  I really didn't know what to do :-(   I was very stressed out..

I  even open a page in  gofundme as I was  trying to find people to help me so I could see an specialist doctor who help me to save my baby .  (my gofundme  page).... this is before I knew I lost the baby .. I will use this fund for a treatment  and  IVF  (I think Ivf  could be my best choice as they the cycles are very controlled  and we could probably pick a good embryo  to transfer in to me  ...  but this will be later on .. please keep reading my blog as I will update my whole experience)


In simple terms, Medical termination just means that  they would make  you use some drugs to help your body to  have a natural miscarriage, I found more info about the Medical Termination  with Mifepristone and Misoprostol  in the websites of the Royal hospital in Victoria and the NSW hospital  this  information was very useful for me, as it actually demonstrate that some hospitals use this type of procedures within Australia and it means that I could ask this type of termination at the hospital as an alternative of D&C.

 I did ask in the past but I was informed is not a  common practice  in Australia .

Michael the Gyno on shift , inform me that  this drugs are effective only in 50 % of the cases, and he also told me is not something the hospital would offer to a patient. 
 After I showed him that other hospitals in Australia use it, he called  the hospital in NSW  to confirm  and then he  escalate my case and ask   "Vianca" the  manager at the  Gyno clinic, she agreed as long as  I stay in the hospital for the day for they could monitor me. Once  again he inform me I had 3 choises , D&C , Medical termination or just go  home to sit and wait for  weeks to see what happen. I chose #2.  He also advise me that in the case  I got "retained  product " after the pills , they would then consider a d&c  to  reduce the risk of  infection.

Michael was very understanding of my wish of move on and start trying again ASAP, with the help of a professional team.  It was also very clear for him that I must be  very distressed as a consequence of my previous miscarriages and  he actually admire that I was very on charge of my situation  as well as the fact I have been studying  and researching about my  recurrent miscarriage problem and about the D&C alternatives . 
(the truth is that last time I was at the ER due my previous miscarriage the doctor on shift ask me if I was a Doctor too   :-P )

Michael,  book  me in  straight away, I would  be  in the" short stay unit" for  about 6 hours and if I felt alright I could just go home. the magic word in this case is  "one Pad every 2 hours ",  If I  filled one pad an hour, or if I was in unbearable pain,   I would have to come back to the hospital.

So I stay in the hospital , then Brad came to spend with me the afternoon . This was the best of the world as I was quite scared, so his support  was extremely welcome.

4 pm Friday  6th december: I was administer the Misoprostol   for Vaginal use  4 pills , then we  just had to wait to see what would happen. I think the people in the hospital were not really sure of what would happen next , either .

  I felt actually very sleepy  during the first two hours, then I started to feel  little bit of back pain and  pain in my right side, then I started to  have bleeding, but nothing special ,   they told me I should stay the night , but  as the pain was no major I told them I would prefer to go home. They gave me some painkillers  just before we left and prescription for a very strong painkiller if I need it .

7:20 pm :  just when I was out of the hospital , the pain started to be very very strong :-S, the painkiller they gave me  didn't do anything ,  I still had to go to the pharmacy for the strong painkiller that the Gyno  prescribe me  in the case nothing worked,  and then drove home, I took the strong painkiller as I was desperate  (Endone - Oxycodone hydrochloride). Then I felt  some nausea ..... I was quite scared.

7:30 pm- 9:45 pm: really really bad cramps and the strong painkiller did nothing.  The pain still really  really strong, like hard contractions, but as I passed some clots  my pain ease for couple of seconds, enough to gain some strength. 
 I  took my clothes off, my hematite necklace feels like extremely uncomfortable . I just took everything off and then I move to the shower, ... 
Is summer already, the temperature was something like 32 C .
Very hot but I found relief in the shower, the hot water made me feel better, so I stayed there  letting the water fallen in to my back , I was in a squatting position, then in my knees, then squatting again , It was like my instinct telling me which position would help to ease the pain for a couple of seconds.
  I tried to come back to the room and the bed, but  there was absolutely not position  I would feel less in pain  so I came back to the bathroom , I had  may be another  15 minutes excruciating pain and cramps, I just had to try to relax my cervix as I knew that   something was trying to come out ,  as the clot was  coming down the pain was also coming down on your body  , then I felt it.

As  I as it pass that last clot my pain suddenly dissapear and I feel alright again, my body still resented  but  no more  extreme pain, everything finished  by  9.50 pm , all I wanted to do now  is eat something , I suddenly felt extremely hungry  and my pain was gone .
(I was always wondering how could you know if everything  came out , but  well, you definitively  know it, your  pain stopped, and  you just feel it ( well I was wrong  again  as later on that morning  I felt something else coming out ) )

10 pm went to look for food , then to sleep . I woke up at 5.30 am I body feels alright. I am still bleeding as If I have strong period but no more than 1 pad every two hours .
My husband is sleeping right now, I think he is exhausted, he actually was very strong,  I think it was very hard and stressful for him to see me in such a pain,  yesterday night  his face had no emotions  at all , but I could see in his eyes he was actually very disturbed on see me like this.

As everything finished , he said he needs to rest and felt sleep within 2 minutes, this was actually  little bit funny, as after my labor job I gained all my energy back,  and I was ready to go out to eat something ..
...it was quite funny, but I really thank him for being there and for bring me home . I could not think  something worse that  stay in  the hospital by myself, I actually felt really good of being in my own space .

Thank you Brad, my husband for your  unconditional love and support during all this time , and specially yesterday,  it was a really important moment, and I wouldn't be able to do it good without you, I love you heaps and  heaps ...

Thank you Bob , my father in law for being patience with me and for helping me and taking me the hospital  and then pick us up .

Thank you, Michael - Doctor on shift  from Bowen , for your comprehension and your desire of helping me and for being open to  approach new  alternatives on the manage of  my case.

Thank you, Vianca - Manager of the clinic for your collaboration and for accept the procedure  to be done on me and for allowed  the hospital to  support me in the manage of my missed miscarriage , thank you also for allowed the procedure be done the same day .

Thank you, Heather and Pit  - nurses at the  short stay unit  for their help and the  painkillers  :-)

Thank you , Townsville Hospital and the Women and Children Clinic  and Dr Jay for  your support  during this time , before I couldn't see it clearly , but I know that you guys were trying to really help me during this years of investigations,  I understand  is just not more you guys can do for me . and I should go an specialist clinic .

Thank you, Reader, for visiting my page and allowed me to share my story with you , as writing  is become  therapy and a motivation for me   :-)

UPDATE : At about 10 in the morning  on Saturday  I started to have more  pain,  I went for a wee wee , and then I felt something came out of me, it felt like a  little plug , when I look  down  there it was with an egg like shape   and in a lighter color  , It was probably the gestational sac , and it look like it had a little hole .... after that event , my bleeding kind of stop .

I'm hopping everything is now finished and  I don't need a further D&C .

I went to the markets , did a couple of other things and by 1 pm I was very very tired , I slept in for couple of hours and  then I got ready to  start taking pictures for my  little ebay shop... I started this little shop 2 months ago, almost when I got pregnant 

I apologize  if I have been to graphic  in telling my story but  I only wanted to  give you an idea of how is to use medical termination of the pregnancy due to  missed miscarriage when the gestational sac measures is about 6 weeks 2 days.